PoT World: The Great Adventures
by FimbulvetrIce
Summary: A crack series of parodies and other random stories that are sometimes connected and most of the time not. Chapter 6: I'm King of the World! A Titanic parody.
1. A Perfect Pair

**A Perfect Pair**

_By FimbulvetrIce_

**Summary: **Originally written for an assignment for English class; we had to write a satire. Of course, I decided to use the PoT charactersand write one on…_Romeo and Juliet_! Can you guess who all the characters are? =D Some of them are quite obvious.

**Warnings:** None, really, except for random crack and a female Fuji and Yukimura. And again, this is a SATIRE. It's _supposed_ to be sarcastic, have corny humor, and make no sense. :P

**Disclaimer and A/N:**I don't own PoT OR Shakespeare. I DO own the plot and the other characters, but that's about it. I apologize for any errors or typos; I'm not a very good beta and I tend to skip over words when I type. XD

* * *

"Five serving one, love all!"

Ah, the lovely sound of two blissfully happy friends playing a nice game of tennis. Never mind that one was soundly beating the other one; Eiji didn't care, so why should anyone else? Yes, Fujiko had always been perfect at everything she did. It was as if fairies had come on the day that she was born and wished her all the perfectness in the world. Hopefully, the evil one hadn't shown up. Anyway, Fujiko was the very epitome of perfection. She was more intelligent than all her tutors, a prodigy in the game of tennis, was kind to everyone, even the animals (who all loved her), was always smiling an absolutely charming smile, and, of course, had a beauty unparalleled by any other damsel in all of Fantasy Land. Indeed, she was THE PERFECT princess, Atobe thought as he watched the game inconspicuously from some inconspicuous bushes.

The prince Atobe was also, of course, perfect. He was so utterly perfect, in fact, that there was never a single woman who did not fall for him at first sight. And even some of the non-single ones. I mean, who would NOT fall for a handsome, gentlemanly, sophisticated, rich, intelligent and perfect prince like himself? Oh right, Fujiko. The reason being: they had never met. But at that moment, Atobe decided that, YES!, Fujiko was the one. He would most definitely make Fujiko his bride. The fact that she was already engaged to another prince, Jiroh, and the other fact that her and his own families had an…unpleasant history, was trivial. Why bother the great Atobe with trivial things?

"Game!"

"Awww," Eiji the cat (he was currently a human though) meowed and pouted, "I can never win against you, Fujiko!" He bounded over to shake her hand over the net.

Fujiko smiled. "It's okay Eiji, I'm sure there's something that you're better than me at."

A cold, cold draft.

Anyway, Atobe…why is he hiding in the bushes? That's a very good question. He realized this and immediately exited the foliage to reveal his stunning self. And challenged Fujiko to a match. It was a close match, because Atobe was of course just as good at tennis as Fujiko was. It ended as a tie, even though normal tennis matches can't end with a tie. But wait! Atobe decided that he could not declare his undying love just yet. It was his belief that it's unromantic to propose while both parties are tired and sweaty from two hours of running around and hitting tennis balls. Best to go home and shower first.

Don't forget the rose-petal bath.

***

"Nurse," Fujiko said, "I don't want to marry Jiroh."

The "Nurse's" name was really Akaya Kirihara, and actually, he wasn't so much of a nurse as he was a bodyguard. Albeit a slightly inefficient one, as Fujiko and him hadn't exactly gotten off to a great start when they first met. She recalled the several times she'd tried to slip some potassium cyanide into his tea when she was younger.

Kirihara frowned. "Are you telling me this because you think I can change something, or because you need a shoulder to cry on?"

Fujiko smiled. "Neither."

"Good, 'cause I was worried there."

"Why," she cocked her head slightly the side, "that hurts me, Nurse." There was a malicious glint in her eyes. Okay, so maybe Atobe should make a minor edit in the "kind" part of his glorious description of her.

The Nurse huffed and avoided looking her in the eye. "Well, what is it then?"

"Oh, nothing. I just wanted to warn you to cover your ears, or just leave the room for a very, very short time." Without waiting for Kirihara's response, she promptly threw herself onto her four-poster bed with a lacey canopy and screamed into her pillow. Loudly.

And then she returned, with her usual smile on. "Thank you for waiting so kindly, I'm all good now." At this point, her grin got wider.

Kirihara winced and backed away. "Um…what was that?" Poor boy. The ringing in his ears just wouldn't stop.

"No-thing," Fujiko mouthed, articulated the two syllables.

And so Kirihara decided to bring the problem up to the King Sanada and Queen Yukimura of Seigaku, because even if he was called "Nurse", or on some occasions, "bodyguard", he really had no control whatsoever over his…charge.

He sobbed and threw himself into Yukimura's arms, earning a glare from the king which he ignored, because the king was always glaring and frowning. "Akaya?" The queen didn't look at all surprised by Kirihara's behavior. "It's all right, it's all right," Yukimura crooned. "What's the matter?"

"Fujiko, she…" Another soppy sniffle. "She doesn't want to marry Prince-Jiroh-from-the-honorable-neighboring-kingdom-of-the-Pink-Pony-Meadow!"

"There, there," Yukimura patted him on the back, smiling the exact same smile that Fujiko always wore (I wonder who she got it from?). "Don't worry about her, all right? We'll speak with her."

But Fujiko was nowhere to be found.

***

"…and now they've arranged for me to be engaged to Jiroh," the princess finished and sighed.

"Jiroh?"

"Yes. Jiroh."

Silence. "That's not very surprising."

"Tezukaaa," she whined and pouted, giving Tezuka incredibly cute puppy-dog eyes.

Tezuka stared at her emotionlessly, but was starting to crumble on the inside from those sparkles. So he sighed and rubbed his temples with his hand.

Fujiko, Jiroh, and Tezuka had all grown up together. They used to meet in Pink Pony Meadows, where Jiroh lived, and Fujiko always brought a nicely decorated picnic basket which they had nice picnics with. By nicely decorated, I mean with an assortment of flowers and bows and checkered cloth. Fujiko would have one-sided conversations with Tezuka, who only spoke back occasionally, while Jiroh would eat his food and sleep. He was always sleeping, and that fact hadn't changed even now. But while Fujiko and Jiroh were both royalty, Tezuka was an apprentice wizard. So at the age of ten, when his master died, he stopped coming to their picnics. Fujiko was hurt and confused. Jiroh couldn't care less, because he slept through it all. Soon Fujiko stopped seeing him altogether, and she then found out about his departure to the Stone Mountains, where he would take his place as Wizard of the Lands. Since then, whenever she had needed someone to talk to, she went to The Wizard's Lair, where Tezuka resided.

So it wasn't like Fujiko hated Jiroh or something. But he had never meant more than a friend to her, and it wasn't like Jiroh loved her either. Not that way, at least. Now would just be kinda weird. Fujiko shuddered at the thought.

"Tezu-KAAA…" Fujiko pouted. "I'm going to be married Jiroh, for heaven's sake! Think of something!"

The wizard offered her a rare smile, even if a normal person would never have been able to notice it at all. "I've already got a plan." As he told her of his ingenious scheme and the preparations he had made, her grin got bigger and bigger until she giggled hugged him.

"I knew you'd have something!" she squealed uncharacteristically.

***

Later that evening, Fujiko's mother called her into the throne room to "speak with her", so she said. Fujiko entered and curtsied, smiling. "Yes, mother?" she said sweetly.

Yukimura smiled an identical smile back at her. Really, it was pretty creepy to watch. "Akaya told me something very interesting today," she told her daughter.

"Really?" Fujiko replied with phony innocence.

"He told me something along the lines of…'Fujiko doesn't want to marry Jiroh'?"

"Ah," she feigned remembrance.

"You know we arranged this to strengthen our ties to the neighboring countries of Fantasy Land. Pink Pony Meadow seemed like the best candidate, as you grew up with the prince. Or are you not fond of Jiroh after all?"

Fujiko shook her head. "No, it's not that I do not like him."

"Then what is it?" The queen frowned. "Can it be…you love someone else?"

"No," she blatantly lied.

But her mother could always tell when she was lying. "Ah, so you _do_—"

"Your majesties!" a messenger soldier ran into the room, effectively cutting Yukimura off and sparing Fujiko from answering. He quickly kneeled down and began, "There have been reports of a great black dragon ravaging Pink Pony Meadow!"

King Sanada, who had been silent this whole time, abruptly stood up and barked, "What? But all the dragons are pink! I mean extinct!"

"We have witnesses, your majesty."

"Were there any casualties?"

At this, the messenger looked confused and thought to himself for a moment. "Actually…no, I was not informed of anyone getting hurt."

"Hm," Sanada grunted. "Inform me if anyone catches sight of it in Seigaku."

"Yes, your majesty."

***

That night, when Fujiko was sleeping…actually she wasn't sleeping, she was awake and reading a manga about tennis called "The Prince of Tennis". Anyway, she was reading and heard something hit her glass window. _Clunk_. Well, she thought, there was probably a scratch there now, which was pretty annoying, but she decided that she'd just make the servants change it tomorrow morning.

Then, again, _clunk_. And soon after, another _clunk_, a lot louder this time. Following the last _clunk_ was a sound similar to the sound thin ice sometimes makes when someone heavy stands on top of it. Fujiko glared in the direction of her window, only to find rather large cracks on it, looking something like spider webs. She yanked her sliding door open (amazingly, the cracked glass did not shatter all over her) and stepped onto the balcony, seeing an irritated looking man about her age on the ground. His expression changed immediately when he saw her. "Oh, Fujiko!" he sang.

Fujiko smiled. "Ah, yes, you're…Adobe, was it?"

The muscles under his right eye twitched; she noticed a beauty mark there. "I am the Great Prince Atobe of Hyotei. Be awed at my prowess!" Atobe struck a pose.

Fujiko deadpanned. "Hyotei? Sorry, but I'm not supposed to associate with Hyoteians."

"O beautiful princess, please hear my pleas (however much Ore-sama is ashamed to beg). Could you come down for just a little while?"

"No."

Atobe was obviously not used to being refused. He blinked a few a times. "Well. Ore-sama wanted to say…" At this point his got down on one knee. "The moment Ore-sama caught sight of you playing tennis, I fell in love with your beauty and finesse. You are almost as perfect as me."

_What a creeper_, Fujiko thought.

"You have captured me with your flawless charm. It is on par with my own. We shall be perfect together! Will you marry me, Juliet?"

_Who's Juliet?_ Fujiko raised one thin eyebrow. "Are you…aware…that I'm already engaged?"

Atobe raised a fist triumphantly and declared, "Our love will overcome any obstacle placed in our path! True love can conquer anything, and no prior engagements, or laws, can stop us!"

Fujiko stared at him, and turned around to leave.

"Sleep well and be strong, my love! Ore-sama will come back for you!"

_Oh, joy._

***

Fujiko snuck out of the palace in the middle of night from her balcony by climbing into the claws of a huge black dragon. Somehow, no one had noticed it. Aw, darn, have the guards fallen asleep on watch duty again? I thought I told them not to do that. Anyhow. Together, they flew off into the night, in the direction of the Stone Mountains.

"Hey, dragon?"

"... Yes?"

"What should I call you? 'Dragon' seems like I'm referring to a tree or something."

"…Rachel."

"Ah, nice to meet you, Rachel."

"…"

There was a long pause which was filled with…absolute silence.

"So, what is it between you and Mister Tezuka?" Rachel the dragon asked.

Fujiko sighed dreamily. "Why, he is my true love."

"…"

"Oh, I'm sorry, is that too sappy for you?"

"…"

She took Rachel's unresponsiveness as a sign to go on. "Well, we were friends ever since…ever, actually. I always teased him when we were younger for being so serious all the time."

Rachel chuckled. "Then he hasn't changed."

Fujiko smiled, but Rachel didn't actually see that. But the purpose of the reader, yes, she smiled. "No, he hasn't. Not at all. Anyway, when we were ten, he kissed me and promised me that one day we'd run away and get married. We had the whole thing planned out. But his master died sooner than we'd thought, and Tezuka became the Wizard of the Lands. It would be impossible to…elope then, since he had a duty to the land that he couldn't abandon." Fujiko laughed wistfully. "Not even for me… But either way, we've been unofficially engaged for years. See?" She showed Rachel a ring on a chain around her neck. "So you see, there's no way I can go and marry Jiroh."

The dragon nodded her huge head once, slightly. "What a romantic and heartwarming story," she said impassively.

She playfully slapped the dragon's claw. "Hey, you asked," she retorted.

"Mmm."

Fujiko sighed. People in this story do that a lot. "You talk as little as he does."

"You become your company, yes?"

"Hm. No, I don't think so. I talk more than both of you combined."

"I noticed."

***

The word soon spread that the Seigakuen Princess Fujiko had been…kidnapped! Of course, it did not escape the ears of "Ore-sama" either. He immediately jumped onto his pure white horse and galloped north to Pink Pony Meadows, where the first thing he saw was a pink pony. A purple one trotted next to it.

"Good morning, Prince!" the pink one whinnied. "I am Melinda, and she is Chloe." The purple pony waved a hoof awkwardly in the air.

"What brings you here?" Chloe asked.

Atobe cleared his throat and said gallantly, "I am here to speak with your Prince, Jiroh!"

"…Oh," Chloe said. "Is that it?"

"Well, good luck then," Melinda finished and both turned and walked away.

"HOW DARE THEY WALK OUT ON ORE-SAMA?!"

After several hours of wandering aimlessly through the sunlit, grassy meadows and meeting pink bunnies and pretty butterflies and even a few unicorns, Atobe finally found Jiroh sleeping under a willow tree. He spent another hour waking the prince up. He finally did by pulling out a bugle horn from Who-knows-where, putting it right next to the Prince's head, and blowing it as hard as he could into his ear.

Jiroh yawned and stretched. "Awww…I wanted to sleep some more…"

"You! Ore-sama demands to know where you've taken the princess!"

The boy stared at him through half-lidded eyes and pointed to himself in confusion. "Me…?"

"You kidnapped her, didn't you?!"

"Nope." Jiroh turned around and started snoring again.

"Hey! Don't fall asleep again!" Atobe grabbed the poor boy's collar and shook him. "If you didn't do it, then help me find her!"

"Who?" came the lethargic voice.

Atobe's right eye started twitching again. "The princess. Fujiko."

Suddenly Jiroh's eyes shot wide open. "Fujiko?! Uwahhh! She's so awesome! Have you seen her play tennis before? She is AMAZING! Where is she now?!"

Right. In contrast to love, Jiroh's relationship with Fujiko was more of…one-sided, excessive "admiration".

"She's been kidnapped, and now we must go on an epic quest to save her."

"Oh. … Oh no! Whatever shall we do?"

"Who do you think might have done it?"

Jiroh made a weird facial expression. His "thinking very deeply one", probably. "Ummm…I dunno, but the great tiger probably would."

"You mean The Great Tiger, the awe-inspiringly powerful guardian of all of Fantasy Land, who sees all, knows all, and is capable of all?"

"Yeah…unless you know of some other tigers around here?"

Atobe ignored him. "It's ingenious! We shall go now!"

And so, they went on a quest to find The Great Tiger. Jiroh, by the way, had called Melinda and was now riding on her. Chloe didn't want to come because of something about "writing musicals and plays, no time". Now, in the middle of Fantasy Land was a magical lake called The Lake of Jell-O (it wasn't actually made of jello). It separated the two nations of Seigaku (to the west) and Hyotei (to the east). And you see, the Tiger Throne was in the very southwest corner of Fantasy Land, so to get from Pink Pony Meadow (which was situated in the north) to the throne, you would have to cross the lake. The only problem was that the lake was infested with piranhas. Normally the piranhas didn't bother anyone except the unfortunate other living beings in the lake, but they would attack if you were to row a boat across it. Atobe, being Atobe, ordered a ferry to take them across. However, the piranhas had the ability to jump VERY high. But Atobe blinded them all by flashing his bright white teeth at any who dared to jump so high, and the crew had no problem crossing the lake.

They even went so far as the ride through the Forest of Doom, which, contrary to popular belief, was a very happy place. In there, they met a kind griffin who introduced herself as Emily and led them to the Tiger Throne. The entrance was very intimidating because they were force to walk through a huge set of stone tiger jaws, and it didn't get much better once they were inside. It kept getting darker and darker and the passageways narrower and narrower, until it opened up to a huge, pitch-black room.

"You have visitors, O Great One," Emily announced and bowed. The others couldn't see her bow because it was, well, pitch-black, so they just stood there confused and slightly nervous.

Suddenly, the room was lit up by columns of flame dramatically shooting up from metal canisters lining the circular walls. They all looked up and saw The Great Tiger sitting majestically on an elaborately made throne.

A voice boomed, "I am The Great Tiger, Teresa the Magnificent and Infinitely Wise!" The flames died down and shot up again at this in a theatrical effect. "Oh weary travelers, what guidance from me have you come searching for?"

Evident power emanated from the throne. The tigress was in a human form, wearing a huge headdress of the head of a tiger; its claws resting on either side of her shoulders. A tail curled up around her and occasionally flicked in impatience.

Atobe spoke up, "O Great Tiger—"

She cut him off. "No, just Teresa is fine."

"Oh. Well then, Teresa, _his_ fiancée (pointing to Jiroh) and the love of my life (pointing grandly to himself) has been captured. We—"

"Ah, yes, I heard about that. Never fear, I shall aid you on your quest. Yes…" The fire flared up and got even brighter. "…Now! Your princess has been taken by the Black Dragon of the Stone Mountains. You must seek the instruction of the Wizard of the Lands, for he knows how to guide you to her." Teresa nodded, pleased with herself. "I shall send Emily to lead you to him."

"You shall?" Emily questioned.

"Yes," the tiger said dangerously. "I shall. Go on now! I wish you the best of luck on your quest! A HA HA HA HA HA!"

Teresa's laughter boomed through the room and the group shuffled out of the cave, slightly faster than they had entered.

"Sorry you had to meet her like that," Emily apologized once they were outside. "She had coffee this morning. Sometimes she gets slightly…crazy when she has coffee. Other times she just slacks off and does pretty much nothing all day."

"Ah ha," Atobe nodded in agreement, even though he had no idea what the griffin was talking about. Coffee? What's coffee? He'd never heard of such a thing!

"How?" Melinda inquired. "Can she manipulate the fire in the room or something?"

"Oh yes," Emily nodded, "which helpful and cool as well as slightly irritating at times."

Emily led them back through the Forest of Doom and into the Stone Mountains just west of the forest. Indeed, there were many stones in the Stone Mountains. Big ones, little ones, medium-sized ones, tiny ones, microscopic ones, enormous ones, and ones that threatened to fall onto their sorry heads if disturbed. As she led them deeper and deeper, it got darker and darker until they came to…a quaint little hut.

"The Wizard lives in…that tacky little thing?!" Atobe exclaimed.

"Oh no, that's just his vacation home," Emily replied.

Before they could knock, the door swung open revealing a tall, cloaked young man with a stern face and a regal presence. He didn't speak, but waited for them to.

"Tezuka," Emily said, "they want to meet Rachel."

Tezuka nodded and went back inside, only to return a few seconds later with a long wooden stick (a staff?) in hand. "Let's go then."

They walked for about five minutes until they came to a clearing in the many rocks. Lying in the middle was a great black dragon who looked very bored. Sitting on the dragon's forearm was Fujiko in all her smiley-ness.

"You came!" she cried happily.

Atobe drew his sword with a heroic valor and pointed it at the dragon. "Fearsome man-eating dragon! If you touch a hair on my dear Fujiko's head, I shall slay you without mercy."

The dragon rolled her eyes at him. "I'm a vegetarian," she grunted.

The prince blinked. "Oh. Then what do you want?"

Rachel yawned. "Just a sacrifice of some sort. If you want to guarantee this girl's safety."

Atobe put his sword down and sniffed. "Oh, what a touching ending to our romance, dear Fujiko. I love you so much, I shall volunteer to be taken in your place."

Fujiko on the other hand was looking at Tezuka weirdly. This wasn't in the script. But then again, Atobe hadn't been included in the plan in the first place and it worked out just fine, so they guessed it was okay.

Atobe deliberately walked over and kissed Fujiko's hand, bidding her a tearful farewell. "Goodbye, my love. I wish you a long, happy life. Do not spiral into a dark depression now that I am gone, live joyfully."

"Okay."

Rachel sighed. "The things I do for you, Mister Tezuka," she mumbled and took off into the sky, with Atobe on her back. Neither he nor Melinda noticed that Jiroh had been sleeping there too, and was now flying off with the pair. How had he gotten there? Well, that's for Tezuka to know and for you never to find out.

Fujiko and Tezuka returned hand in hand to Seigaku, where they told all of Fantasy Land of the noble way that Atobe and Jiroh offered themselves to the frightening dragon in place of their princess. Now that there were no more princes in the land, king and queen agreed to have Fujiko married to Tezuka. There was always her younger brother, Yuuta, of course. Wasn't there a nice princess in the other neighboring kingdom?

Everyone agreed that Fujiko and Tezuka were perfect for each other, and the whole of Fantasy Land attended their wedding. The pony Melinda came with Chloe, who was in charge of the music. Eiji the cat and his best friend Oishi the dog, and Kirihara were there too. Fujiko's cousin, Kaido, came even though he knew that Atobe's old friend Momo would be there too (Their rivalry was what created the hostility between Seigaku and Hyotei, but the two nations had made up not long before), who was followed by his friend Ryoma. The blind piranhas came.

THE BLIND PIRANHAS CAME.

The pink bunnies, pretty butterflies, and unicorns from Pink Pony Meadow also came, and Emily the griffin and even The Great Tiger, Teresa the Magnificent and Infinitely Wise, stopped by. Teresa's entrance was just as loud and dramatic as it had been the previous time as she graced them with her presence, never lacking in bright flames and fireworks. The apothecary, Inui, who was not mentioned in this story but WAS mentioned in _Romeo and Juliet_ was also there, but really, no one wanted to try his refreshments.

It was truly a celebration to be remembered for some generations to come (and forgotten soon after). King Sanada sat proudly and Queen Yukimura got all teary-eyed as they all witnessed the wonderful marriage of two true loves. And they lived happily ever after.

But of course they did. They were the perfect pair, after all.

* * *

**Get it…PERFECT PAIR??? A ha, I crack myself up. XD The characters other than the PoT ones all have the names of my friends (Teresa is me).**

**So I might make a sequel to this or something else in this universe for the next chapter, I'm not really sure yet. Any suggestions? I'm open to…pretty much anything actually, it's easier with a prompt (I'm not very creative!). Some other humor-centric or parody theme is good too.**

**You can go to my profile for links to my drawings of most of the characters mentioned in this story (The only ones missing are the piranhas, bunnies, butterflies, and unicorns).**

**Review…please? I'll give you virtual cookie once I figure out how to do that on . =D**


	2. The Ninth Tenidestined

**The Ninth Tenidestined**

_By FimbulvetrIce_

**Summary: **A parody of…_Digimon_? Oh gawd, I must be going crazy. More specifically, a parody of the part in the first season of Digimon where they all go back to Earth and have to find the eighth digidestined (Kari) before Myotismon does… … no? *sigh* Okay. It's just me, then.

**Warnings: **I honestly can't think of anything that would be worth mentioning. Other than that you'll be very, very confused if you've never watched Digimon. Scratch that, you won't get this AT ALL if you've never watched the part mentioned above. And there's major OOC-ness. A bit of Fuji-worshipping too. Okay I lied, there_ are_ warnings worth mentioning. XD

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Prince of Tennis or Digimon, but I DO own quite a few nice tennis racquets and bucketful of tennis balls.

* * *

They all crowded around the LCD screen that was Inui's laptop. All eight of them. And stared.

"…Say again?"

"They" were known to some as the Tenidestined, to others, the Seigaku Regulars, and to everyone else, just a bunch of weird tennis-obsessed kids who carried around stuffed animals and tennis racquets. Their names were Tezuka, Fuji, Oishi, Eiji, Momo, Inui, Kaido, and Taka.

It all started during tennis practice a few hours ago. Well, to them it was a few months ago, but only a few hours had actually passed in the "real world". Suddenly, their tennis racquets had started glowing, and they'd all been sucked into Inui's laptop! Why it was open during practice, nobody knew and no one ever bothered to ask.

The tennis racquets had transported them to a really, really cool place called Tennis World, where everything was tennis-related. Racquets grew on trees, lakes were filled with not water but tennis balls, the clouds all looked like either tennis racquets or tennis balls, and even the buildings, when they did come across any, were made of racquets and balls. It was a tennis paradise. The best part about it was the cuddly little animals who made themselves partners to the kids. They called themselves tenimon, short for Tennis Monsters. All of them had the ability to "tenivolve", which made them into bigger, stronger, and less-cuddly tenimon.

Soon, they found out about the prophecy and the fact that there were, indeed good tenimon as well as bad tenimon. The good tenimon practically worshipped them, while the bad ones were always set on killing them all. Always. According to the prediction of greater forces as of yet unknown, these eight kids were destined to save Tennis World! So they fought many adversaries, risked their lives many, many times, and made lots of pretty stupid mistakes that got them where they were today. Their guide, Ryuzaki, told them that now, to correct this big mess that they'd gotten themselves into, they had to go back to their world and defeat the evil Akutsumon to keep him from taking over both Earth and Tennis World. But wait…there was more! Unfortunately, the eight had left in a great hurry before Ryuzaki could inform them of the very reason why they were all going back to Earth in the first place.

The Tenidestined, as we shall be calling them (for we, unlike many others, do know of their not-so-secret lives), were lead by their captain, Tezuka. Unfortunately, he hadn't made it back through the portal to the real world, and was now stuck in Tennis World. Not that he minded all that much.

So here they were. Ryuzaki'd gotten a hold of them through Inui's handy and ever-present laptop, still kind of irritated by their rashness. Which is a word, spell check says so.

"What do you MEAN, there's a ninth Tenidestined, nya?" Eiji said incredulously.

"This is illogical." Inui adjusted his square-shaped glasses. "According to my data, there were only eight digidestined in the original Digimon series. We already have eight people."

Well you know what, Inui? YOU CAN JUST—

Oishi contemplated. "Well, we're only off by one. That's good enough, right?"

"_**Only**_ off by one?!" Inui narrowed his eyes at Oishi. "You be off by one today, you off by one tomorrow, the next thing you know you off by _**TWO**_!!!" (Imitation of AZN moms, sorry, I'm just that lame)

Oishi cowered.

Ryuzaki coughed. Once she effectively got everyone's attention, a cryptic, ancient-looking script popped up on the screen.

"Wuzzat?" Momo peered at it.

'_Guys, I recently found this concerning your current situation. It's a prophecy—'_

The laptop was abruptly slammed shut. "Nya, I'm sick and tired of prophecies!" Eiji stomped off in the direction of the burger place.

Oishi sighed. "Well, let's go then." And the rest of the team followed suit.

***

At their top-secret, recently-named headquarters, a.k.a. the Burger Place, the Tenidestined discussed their options. It was actually quite a difficult thing to do, because none of them knew where to start. Oh, if only Tezuka were here! But he wasn't.

"Well," Fuji said, smiling, "since we have no idea who this ninth Tenidestined could be, and none of us care enough to read the prophecy or ask Ryuzaki for help, I say we split into groups and search for clues, ne?"

Everyone immediately agreed and decided that this was the best plan, because Fuji said so and Fuji was a genius, and Fuji was Fuji. NO ONE contradicted The Fuji. Ever. Well, except for Tezuka. But he wasn't there.

The groups went something like…Oishi with Eiji, with their tenimon Mommymon and Nekomon respectively. Fuji went with Inui and Kaido, along with their tenimon Smileymon, Aozumon, and Vipermon. Lastly, Momo was with Taka and their tenimon, Peachmon and Leafmon.

Little did they know, another tenimon crouched in the shadows, watching their every move. "…Mada mada dane," it said darkly with a smirk.

**HEARTHEARTHEARTCATSHEARTHEARTHEARTCATSHEARTHEARTHEARTCATSHEARTHEART**

As soon as they'd all been dispersed, Eiji and Oishi made a beeline for Avenue Street. Eiji did, actually, Oishi just followed. Now, just what was so attractive about the very much originally named Avenue Street?

"Nya!" Eiji bounced up and down excitedly toward his destination. "Candy Mountain, Oishi, Candy Mountain!"

Oishi sighed. "Eiji-kun, Candy Mountain doesn't—oh."

_(A/N: If you've never seen Charlie the Unicorn on YouTube, you have to. Go. NOW.)_

Candy Mountain was the name of a huge candy shop situated nicely right on Avenue Street. It was painted bright pink, and the letters were all in RAINBOW COLORS! The sign above it had a really big picture of a cool figure made entirely of candy. You could almost TASTE the rainbow! Eiji could see rows and rows of brightly colored candy inside; this was the biggest candy shop in Tokyo. There was a HUGE variety of different sweets, though some of them looked suspiciously like Inui's experiments-gone-sugary, and he dared not try them.

Nekomon bounded after his partner, just as hyper and just as cat-like. Heck, he WAS basically a cat. Anyway, Oishi and Mommy followed at a slightly less enthusiastic pace, but eagerly nonetheless.

Suddenly, the figure above the shop came to life, and dropped down the ground in front of them! "I…am…CANDYMON!!!" it giggled manically with a laugh that really reminded Eiji of Fuji on those days when he thought of a new way to bug Tezuka. Except…higher-pitched. And more evilly, if that was possible. But enough about that, there was a bigger problem at hand.

"Oh no!" Eiji gasped. "Nekomon, tenivolve!"

"You too, Mommymon!" Oishi said to his tenimon.

Their racquets started glowing and bright light surrounded their tenimon. They were morphing shapes!

Nekomon got bigger, grew a mane and long fangs, and looked a lot more fierce. "_Nekomon tenivolve to…_ GreatCatmon!"

"_Mommymon tenivolve to_… Lovemon!"

I'll, er, leave that to your imagination.

Both newly tenivolved tenimon charged toward their opponent. GreatCatmon leaped onto Candymon and yowled, "Cat Fang!" before sinking his teeth into the candy monster and taking a bite. "Mmm, lemon drop." Then he jumped off to clear the way for Lovemon's attack.

Lovemon had gathered a great ball of red, glowing energy around a tennis racquet. "Love Volley!" And he volleyed the ball of lights straight at Candymon, leaving a trail of hearts streaming out behind it. It hit its target which also started glowing with a pulsing red light, until the light exploded and Candymon slumped to the ground.

"Bin-GO!" Eiji grinned and high-fived Oishi.

Lovemon and GreatCatmon both shrunk back to normal size, and they moved on (into the store, that is). As for Candymon, it was so filled with the love from Lovemon's Love Volley that it stopped being evil and turned "good", even to the extent of giving out free candy to every little kid passing by that it saw. And they were all happy.

**DATADATADATAFSHHHDATADATADATASMILEDATADATADATAFSHHHDATADATADATASMILE**

"78 percent chance we know this person. 54 percent chance this person is close to one of us."

"Saa, Inui, why so high?"

"Well you see, according to my data…"

"Fshhh," Kaido hissed. Ha ha. Hissed. That still manages to make me giggle.

Though he would never have admitted it to anyone (and especially not Momo!), numbers had a way of confusing Kaido and making his head hurt, so he tuned out the sadist and the data master to keep an eye out for suspicious things. Not that he particularly expected there to be anything suspicious about a normal Tokyo summer day, but he'd rather look like he was doing something productive.

It turned out that his wariness paid off, because he was the first to sense a group of five (pretty conspicuous, actually) evil tenimon that were at least three times their size and looked really scary and strong.

"Vipermon!" he hissed, "tenivolve!"

Fuji and Inui had already noticed their attackers and had gotten their tenimon to tenivolve too.

"_Vipermon tenivolve to_… Fshhhmon!"

Don't ask. Oh, _please_ don't ask.

"_Smileymon tenivolve to_… Tenshimon!" In the place of Fuji's formerly very cute and smiley tenimon was a shining, menacing-looking angel, with flowing golden-brown hair and piercing blue eyes much like Fuji's own. Scary.

"_Aozumon tenivolve to_… Akazumon!" Once a sparkly light blue in color, Aozumon, now Akazumon, became a deep red, a lot more sinister and almost…bubbly? But that was pretty much the only thing that changed.

"Wait," Fuji said, holding out a hand to stop them just before the three were about to launch their attacks. He walked straight up to their five enemies and snapped open his eyes to glare at them. Kaido could have _sworn_ he saw lasers shooting from them, but the next thing anyone knew, there was a huge explosion and the evil tenimon had keeled over and dissipated. Fuji turned back to them, eyes closed again, with the brightest smile they'd ever seen him wear.

"Saa, that's taken care of."

Poor Kaido fainted.

**BURNINGBURNINGBURNINGDUNKBURNINGBURNINGBURNINGDUNKBURNINGBURNING**

Taka nodded while walking. "Inui would definitely be Izzy," he confirmed. Momo didn't see any reason to argue with that; it made the most sense.

"Oishi'd probably be Sora," Momo offered, "he's got that whole mother-complex."

Peachmon giggled. "Sh! Don't let him hear you say that!"

"What about Tai?" Leafmon piped up.

"Tezuka-buchou," Both Taka and Momo responded without hesitation. "Definitely."

"But he doesn't fit the personality mold," Peachmon argued.

"He's the leader." Momo said with finality. "Okay, so…wait. Does that mean Fuji-senpai is…Matt?!"

Taka thought. "Yeah, that makes the most sense. Why, is that odd?"

"It's just…y'know, Matt's all angsty and everything and Fuji-senpai…well, _isn't_."

The other shrugged. "Ah, well, we said the personality factors weren't important, right?"

"Good point." If Tezuka-buchou was Tai, then his best friend would be Matt. And of the people who were close to Tezuka, only Fuji even came close to the role. "So. I think Eiji would be T.K., don't you?"

Taka pondered that for a moment as they turned a curb. "But then wouldn't he be Fuji's little brother?"

"He _does_ act like a little kid sometimes."

"Yeah, but, wouldn't Oishi be a better older-brother character to Eiji?"

"Can you imagine Oishi as _Matt_?"

"Good point. Alright, so there's still Mimi, Joe, and Kari. The new ninth Tenidestined would be Kari, right?"

"Yup," Momo agreed. "So that leaves Mimi and Joe between you, me, and Kaido."

"Ah!" Taka grinned in a way rather uncharacteristic to a racquet-less him. "You're Mimi, Kaido's Joe."

"What?!" Momo looked at his friend in disbelief. "Why am I Mimi?!"

"Well," he said in a voice more suited for explaining special relativity to a ten-year-old, "disjunctive reasoning. Because Kaido's more like Joe. He sort of gets scared easily," Momo nodded his head up and down at this, "and Joe wants to be a doctor, and Kaido likes animals."

"I'm not seeing your logic here, Taka-kun."

Wait.

"Kaido likes animals?!"

It leaves one wondering where Taka got his information from.

"Oh, Inui told me."

"Why did Inui tell _you_?! He never tells ME anything!"

Taka shrugged.

Oh man, there's something really, really wrong with the characters in this story.

In the shadows, yet _another_ tenimon undetected by them was watching them. "Desu? What are they talking about, desu?"

***

Everyone's little adventures were abruptly cut short when Fuji summoned them all together again. He could do that because he was Fuji, and Fuji just had the ability to do that kind of stuff like that even though it was completely random and illogical (as Inui would have said, if Fuji were not Fuji). No one ever questioned The Fuji. Except Tezuka, but he wasn't there.

Anyway, the first thing he said while everyone was looking at him expectantly was…

"Why, hello everyone. It's nice out today, isn't it? What brings you all here?"

Eiji pounced onto him, making as if to strangle him. "Nya, Fujiko!"

Who just laughed, and untangled himself from the hyper boy's arms (hyper, because of the trip to the candy shop). "Saa, actually, I thought I'd let you all know that we've figured out who the ninth Tenidestined is!"

The whole team minus Inui, had discussed the matter with Fuji, and Kaido, who had been half-listening but knew anyway, gasped and looked at Fuji to implore him to go on.

"Do you guys remember that explosion when we were kids?" he continued.

"…Which one?" Momo asked.

Fuji looked at him questioningly. "What do you mean, which one?"

It was Eiji who answered, fiddling with his fingers while half-pouting. "Nya, Fujiko made a lot of explosions with his eyes when we were younger…"

"Oh." Fuji smiled. "No, I'm talking about the really big one, the one that the adults claimed was a terrorist attack." _'But I thought Fuji caused that explosion!'_ was whispered by someone, which he ignored. "But they never actually saw it. _We_ did, though, and we're the ones that became the Tenidestined. So, it would make sense that this other Tenidestined also witnessed the explosion, am I right?"

No one dared to say otherwise.

So he smiled and continued. "Well I know someone else who saw it, but didn't make it to tennis practice on time the day that we all got sucked into Tennis World. The missing Tenidestined is Echizen Ryoma."

Everyone blinked.

"Fujiko, you're a genius!" Eiji pounced onto Fuji and hugged him again. Because no one contradicts The Fuji. Ever. Except for Tezuka, but Tezuka… Well, you know.

"So…" Oishi ventured a little nervously, "what about his tenimon?"

Fuji grinned. "Oh, we've already got him. He's the other reason I know that it's Ryoma-kun." He stepped aside and the rest of the team noticed for the first time a tenimon they'd never seen before standing among them. "Mada mada dane," Madamadadanemon said smugly.

They all understood at once. The ninth Tenidestined was, with no doubt, Echizen Ryoma.

***

The Tenidestined made a great journey two blocks from the burger shop to the Echizen household, where Echizen lived. Of course.

He listened to their story with an expression of indifference. When they were finished, he gave them a "Mada mada dane" and turned around to leave.

It took Momo to drag him out again. All of them tried to persuade Ryoma to join the team, but to no avail. He wasn't convinced until Fuji gave him The Fuji Eye, and suddenly he was all in. Because no one can resist The Fuji Eye. Not even Tezuka.

With their team complete at last, the Tenidestined did mini victory-dances in their minds. Then they realized that they hadn't won anything, and stopped. They made their way the burger place again.

"So Madamadadanemon," Inui interrogated their former enemy and now friend, "who was your old master?"

"Akutsumon," Madamadadanemon answered uninterestedly.

A glass shattered in the back of the room.

"Taka?"

"Taka-senpai, are you okay?"

Leafmon immediately went to clean the glass up, and Taka stood up slowly, apologizing. "Sorry, guys, it's just…Madamadadanemon, are you sure it's Akutsu?"

There was a collective gasp around the room. They'd just noticed the connection.

"No way…" Oishi said disbelievingly, "you think…"

"Akutsumon is Akutsu, nya?!"

Taka nodded. "I mean, it can't just be a coincidence."

Fuji smiled. "I agree," he decided, and that was that.

"Just one more thing," Inui said, not looking up from his laptop. "Why is your name so long? It's getting really annoying to type."

"Nya, not to mention say!" Eiji added.

Madamadadanemon pulled his hat down. "You can call me Pontamon instead."

Ryoma looked interested for the first time that day. "Ponta?"

Suddenly, a voice from the shadows started speaking. "Desu? Akutsumon, desu?" A tenimon wearing a green, lopsided headband flew out and flapped around repeating the same thing over and over and over again. Then they heard a rumbling outside, and Desumon shrieked out "Akutsumon!!!" and zoomed out the door. The Tenidestined glanced at one another, before going outside themselves. What greeted them was a scary, evil-looking tenimon whose shadow loomed over them darkly. The tenimon had pale skin, unruly, white hair and scary eyes…

"Akutsumon, nya!"

"Jin?" Taka said meekly. His tennis racquet started beeping and glowing, so he grabbed it. "BURNING!! LEAFMON, TENIVOLVE!!!"

The little plant tenimon burst into flames, growing bigger (HUGE), and the mild expression on his face was replaced by a crazed one. "_Leafmon tenivolve to_… BURNINGMON! COME ON, BURNING!!!"

The other tenimon did the same, except for Madamadadanemon, who was already in a tenivolved form.

"_Mommymon tenivolve to_… Lovemon!"

"_Nekomon tenivolve to…_ GreatCatmon!"

"_Aozumon tenivolve to_… Akazumon!"

"_Vipermon tenivolve to…_ Fshhhmon!"

"_Smileymon tenivolve to_… Tenshimon!"

"_Peachmon tenivolve to…_ Dunkmon!"

They all attacked at once, but none of their attacks even fazed Akutsumon. Not about to give up, they tried again, with the same results. Akutsumon just laughed at their antics. Just when all hope seemed lost, Ryoma's racket started glowing so brightly that it almost blinded everyone (they _were_ seeing color spots afterwards though). Suddenly, the same blinding light engulfed Pontamon.

The tenimon started to change into a human-like shape and sprouted pair of white wings. He looked almost exactly like Fuji's Tenshimon, except for the blackish greenish hair and golden brown eyes, and the tennis racquet that he held in his left hand. "_Pontamon ultra super mega tenivolve to_… TeniTenshimon!"

Everyone gazed in wonder at the tennis angel as sparkly stuff floated down around them, except for Fuji and Ryoma. Fuji because he's too good to "gaze in wonder", and Ryoma because the boy really couldn't care less.

TeniTenshimon hadn't stopped glowing, but the light was now concentrated above him. "Everyone, you need to lend me your powers!" he declared.

So they complied.

Burningmon created a ball of fire and launched it at the light, which absorbed it. Lovemon volleyed its Love Volley and GreatCatmon sent a shower of spiky beams, while Tenshimon shot a blue arrow of light. Following their example, Akazumon sent a wave of red water/poison, Fshhhmon released a bunch of mini snakes from its fangs, and Dunkmon dropped huge tennis ball into the light.

All of their attacks melded into TeniTenshimon's ball of light, giving it a rainbow-y effect. With a yell, TeniTenshimon drew back his racquet and shot it at top speed toward Akutsumon's heart. "Twist Serve!" he shouted (Ryoma in the background: _He copied me!_). The mystic ball bounced off of Akutsumon's chest and somehow slammed into his face.

"NOOOOOOO!!!!!" Akutsumon shrieked. "I HAVEN'T…FINISHED…TAKING OVER THE WORLD YET!!! CUUUUUURSE YOUUUU!!!!" And the evil tenimon fell. He started to shrink, and when he got up, it was Akutsu Jin, the normal teenager, instead. Well, just about as normal as Akutsu Jin can get.

"Jin!" Taka cried happily.

"Psh," Akutsu turned his head away and stuffed his hands into his pockets. Desumon turned into the human, Dan Taichi, and followed Akutsu as he walked away.

The rest of team was dancing _real_ victory dances now in celebration.

"We did it!" Momo whooped.

"Fshhh. Stop being so loud and dramatic, you're annoying."

"You wanna mess, mamushi?!"

"Peach. Fshhh."

"Mada mada dane."

One of these days, they would go back to Tennis World and retrieve Tezuka. But for now, they all ran off blissfully into the setting sun, with the sweet taste of victory and glory still fresh on their tongues…

…Until the thunderous voice of their buchou jerked them all back into reality.

"Playing card games on the courts? TWENTY LAPS!"

All of the Seigaku regulars scrambled to gather their trading cards and action figures before hastily stuffing them into their bags and exiting the courts to sprint around them, in fear that their captain would confiscate them. Alas, perhaps they could continue their fantasy adventure some other day.

A certain blue-eyed brunette, however, sauntered over to his captain and offered a beaming smile that would have melted anyone on the spot, if it were not Tezuka. "Ne, Tezu-kun, even me?"

Tezuka looked at him sternly, trying to keep his right eye from twitching. "Especially you," he snapped. Because, somehow, he knew it was all Fuji's fault that any of this had even started in the first place.

**

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**

That was probably the lamest…crappiest…stupidest non-cracky crack I've ever written. Is the ending too confusing? So, what did you think? Should I never consider doing stuff like this ever again??? I need some kind of feedback…I'M BEGGING YOU. I'LL WRITE ANYTHING!!! Almost.

**On a side note, if you actually know about the whole Digimon thing, you can probably pick things out and know where I'm coming from. And, neko means "cat" in Japanese. Tenshi means "angel". Just in case you didn't know that.**

**Please review…I need to know what to do for the next chapter. XD**


	3. The Clone Wars Revamped! Part 1

**The Clone Wars Revamped!**

_By FimbulvetrIce_

**Summary:Rikkai Dai in the Pokémon World! Has nothing to do with Star Wars. Team Rikkai is out to capture Seigaku, a group of very rare Pokémon, in an attempt to have them cloned! But no matter what they try, the cunning Pokémon remain elusive… Or maybe, just maybe, it's just them.**

This is what happens when you don't give me plot. _Not that the previous two exactly had plots either…_

**Warnings: **The usual. Definitely a lot crazier than the other ones I've written. Probably 'cuz it's Rikkai Dai…

**Disclaimer:** Oh, and I own fourteen volumes of Prince of Tennis too! And a bunch of video games. That have Pokémon in them.

**Special thanks to Sileny for beta-ing this for me! And coming up with the idea in the first place.**

* * *

"They're heading this way! Everyone, to your stations!" Sanada, the second in command of Team Rikkai hissed.

"Roger!" the other five, minus Yukimura, saluted and scrambled to their assigned places.

"Hurry! Okay…Now! Release the net! No, cut the rope first! CUT THE ROPE! AKAYA!!! I SAID, CUT THE ROPE!!!"

The green-eyed boy was on top of a tree, fumbling with the huge scissors that were entrusted to him (Kami-sama knows why) and trying his hardest to stay on the branch that supported him. He failed, and slipped off the tree limb to land with a _thud_ on the earthen floor. The scissors flew out of his hands, landing in a bush some hundred meters away.

Kirihara was stunned into a daze for a few seconds. "Starzzz…" he murmured dreamily.

Sanada slapped his hand onto his own forehead in frustration. Their target was no longer anywhere in sight. Putting his 'I am so very, very disappointed and angry with you' face on (as opposed to his 'You all suck. ALL of you' face which was normally present) and stormed over to the boy on the ground.

"You messed it up! Again!" he shrieked and pointed accusingly. "YOU SCREWED UP AGAIN, YOU INTELLIGENCE-FORSAKEN—"

"Now, now, Genichirou," said a smooth voice as the blue-haired Yukimura ambled pleasantly on his Flygon up to his two subordinates, "we don't want this fic to be rated T just because of the language in one chapter, would we?" He hopped off of Flygon and beamed at Sanada, who dropped his arm dejectedly and mumbled something about "She's going to write a chapter with unnecessary violence in it in the future anyway, might as well…"

What was that, Sanada _dear_?

Then a purple blob randomly dropped out of a tree overhead (not to be confused with the tree that previously disagreed with Akaya) and landed on Sanada's head with a very audible PLOP, causing his cap to tip down and cover his face.

"_Rrrrrggh…_" Several veins popped on his face.

"Don't explode now, Genichirou!" Yukimura tapped his head with a giggle.

_Calm, Genichirou, calm._ Sanada breathed in and out deeply in an attempt to keep himself from exploding in front of his captain (not that he hasn't done it before)._ Deep breathing. In, out. In, oooouuuut… Now find your inner chi…_

Wait. What?

"ACCURSED DITTO!!! HAVE YOU FOUND A WAY INTO MY BRAIN, TOO?!?!" Sanada grabbed a hold of his hat and flung the "purple blob" off of it.

Said Ditto sailed through the air and landed in a pile of leaves. Then there was a big POOF of purple puffy stuff and it turned into a split image of Sanada. [Ditto]Sanada grinned and giggled like Yukimura did earlier and flung himself onto his master, gripping him in a tight bear hug. "Awww! I love you, Gen-chan!!!" he squealed.

And, coming from someone that looked exactly like Sanada Genichirou?

_Thud_. Kirihara, who had finally shaken himself out of his stupor, fell over and fainted again. "Scarred…" was the last thing he managed to say before blacking out.

Yukimura leaned over his limp form. "Why, but this happens every day!"

"GET OFF OF ME, YOU STUPID LITTLE—"

"K+, Genichirou, K+."

[Ditto]Sanada retracted himself from [real]Sanada, looking very much hurt. He sniffed. "Gen-chan doesn't love me…"

"DON'T POUT WHEN YOU'RE WEARING MY FACE, YOU—"

"Oi, buchou! You're back!" came the voice of Marui the Pachirisu bounded toward the delightfully happy group. Jackal, his trainer, and Yanagi with his Alakazam followed close behind him.

Yukimura flashed them another smile, even though he's been smiling this whole time anyway. "Oh, I've been here since '5 in the morning!" Except his voice was now sort of, like, fused with someone else's. Y'know, like the voice-over things they do for Niou and his illusions.

Speaking of which…

"Niou?!"

"Yukimura" took off his mask to reveal that it really was, indeed, Niou the other Ditto.

Hee hee! That rhymes.

"Wait, so where's Yukimura-buchou?" Marui questioned. None of them were surprised, because _this_ happened every day too.

Yanagi looked around and analyzed them calmly. "To my knowledge, Yukimura left at 2 o'clock AM, three hours before our wake-up time in the morning, to go to the ice cream store. Presumably to get ice cream."

"Yukimura-buchou likes ice cream?"

"Yeah…"

"…Oh."

"So why's Flygon still here, then?" Jackal spoke up, pointing at Yukimura's main Pokémon and sole method of transportation.

"That's not Flygon," Niou grinned.

"It isn't?"

"It's Yagyuu!"

Jackal turned back to look at the dragon Pokémon, only to find Yagyuu in its place.

Kirihara woke up again. "Since when can Yagyuu mimic Pokémon? Are you a Ditto in disguise too?!"

And fainted. Again. Poor guy. This team was just all too much for him.

Niou and Sanada's Ditto (who are also known as the Ditto Duo of Doom, or DDD) grinned and high-fived each other.

_(A/N: For the sake of this story, let's assume that this Ditto has a human form that looks exactly like Niou.)_

***

Remember the scissors that Akaya _(A/N: I tend to switch back and forth between "Kirihara" and "Akaya" when referring to him, depending on the first one that comes to mind… Sorry if that bothers or confuses any of you. Sorry if these A/N's are annoying you too. =D)_ flung away earlier? The ones that landed in a bush? They just so happened to bounce off the ground and somehow landed in such a way that they snipped off a part of a Bonsly situated near the bush (ouch… that must have hurt…).

When Tezuka the Umbreon came back and beheld the fate of his beloved Bonsly, the eyes behind his glasses turned a murderous red and his fur bristled with anger. "This. Calls. For. _WAR_," he growled ominously. Then he threw back his head and wailed for Marilyn, for that was the Bonsly's name. He heard light footsteps coming toward him and immediately straightened up and reverted back to "stiff, emotionless buchou" mode. He relaxed slightly when he saw who it was, but only slightly. Microscopically. Undetectable-by-anyone-but-that-particular-person…ey.

"Fuji," he acknowledged his twin brother's presence with a stern nod. Because, yes, they were twins even though he was an Umbreon and Fuji was an Espeon.

The Espeon peered around Tezuka to look at the impaired Bonsly. "Saa, there's no need to declare war, Tezu-kun," he said and promptly dumped a whole vial of Super Potion onto the rock Pokémon. "All healed!" he grinned.

"Fuji."

"Yes?" The closed-eyed Espeon smiled brightly back at him.

"…Where did you get that?"

Fuji's smile just got even wider.

***

Team Rikkai sat in silence, contemplating (to no avail) what their next move should be, when suddenly Kirihara had a thought.

"REALLY?"

Yes, Marui. REALLY.

"What's your thought, Akaya?" Sanada, having calmed down somewhat, said.

Kirihara sat tapping his chin. "I'm kinda worried about Yukimura-buchou," he said.

"Why?" (Sanada)

"Well…remember the last time he wandered off by himself?" (Kirihara)

_Flashback_

"_Genichiiiiirou."_

"_What."_

"_Genichiiiiiiiirooou."_

"_What?"_

"_Genichiiiiiiiiiiiiiiroooooouuuu."_

"_What?!"_

"_GENIIIIICHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIROOOOOOOOOOUUUUU!!!!!"_

"_WHAT?!"_

_Yukimura walked right front of Sanada and grinned at him. "Hi."_

"…"

"_Um…Buchou?"_

"_Yes, Akaya?"_

"…"

"_Akaya?"_

"_Are you…um…okay?"_

"_Of course I am, why?"_

"…_nothing…"_

"_Really?"_

"_Yeah, really!"_

"_Really?_

"_Yeah, really!!!"_

"_Really?!_

"_Yeah—"_

_Sanada's eye started twitching. "Oh for the love of…"_

_He was interrupted by Yukimura. "So anyway, I was walking through this desert place, and like OH MY GOSH it was sooo hot… And I saw a cactus! Can you imagine? CACTUSES, in a desert! Like, totally!"_

"_Yukimura-buchou?" It was Marui this time._

"_Yes?" he turned around looking perfectly bright and chipper._

_Marui turned worriedly to Jackal. "I…think there's something wrong with him…"_

_Yukimura laughed. "Like, of course there's nothing wrong me! Hahaha!"_

"_Yukimura, you can stop now," Sanada said in a low voice._

"_What? Stop what???"_

"… _No, really…" Yanagi rubbed his temples._

_Suddenly, Yukimura let out a high-pitched, demon-like giggle._ _"You know you guys are, like, totally not making any sense to me right now!!!"_

_End Flashback_

They all shuddered.

"Yeah…" even Niou complied, "we should really probably go look for him…"

***

Now, there is something that you must know about the trainers and Pokémon of Team Rikkai. The only Pokémon the trainers have are given to them by their boss, who is currently unnamed and unimportant. Each of them have one main Pokémon that has the ability to speak; for instance, Yukimura's is Flygon, Sanada's is Ditto, Yagyuu's is also a Ditto (Niou), Jackal has Marui, a Pachirisu, and Yanagi has an Alakazam. Depending on their rank and skill, they may also have other Pokémon.

Yukimura has three, which is the number given to the highest ranked of Rikkai. Obviously. He's a captain. And when skill level is considered, Sanada should by all means also have three Pokémon, but he was only given two. The reason for this was that since the Ditto he was given was at such a high level, and could accomplish so much (seeing as it could take on the form and abilities of anything it chose), that their boss felt it was unnecessary for him to have a third Pokemon. Sanada, however, didn't exactly get along well with his Ditto. He didn't even _like_ the Ditto.

That is why Sanada resents Ditto so much.

"Gen-chan! I love you!!!"

To his horror, the blob of doom had decided to take on the form of none other than Yukimura.

"LET GO OF ME!!!" he cried, tears threatening to stream down his face. _What have I done to deserve this?_ he wept in his mind.

_To be continued!!!_

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I have a question for all of you. Would you rather see shorter chapters and stories split into parts (like this one) or would you want to me put up whole stories for each chapter and have it take longer to update and BE longer (like the previous two)?

**Thanks for reading! Review, please?**


	4. Little Prince Cap

**Little Prince Cap**

_By FimbulvetrIce_

**Summary: **_"Remember Ryoma, don't pick up any teddy bears and don't talk to foxes named Momoshiro!"_ But did he listen? Of course not. Parody of Little Red Riding Hood.

Dedicated to Hayato-kun on deviantART!

**Warnings: **Stupidness, OOC-ness, randomness, pretty much everything you've seen in the last few chapters. No Fuji-worshipping in this one, though.

I noticed…I've been using pretty much the same characters in all of these. *sigh* Variety, Teresa, VARIETY.

Me: NOOOOOO!!!!!!!!

Okay, now I'm bi-polar and schizophrenic… Are you reading this?

**Disclaimer: **If I owned PoT, Fuji would be drawn with much more consistency and always look as pretty as he does toward the end of the series, and he would have a counter called "Great Explosion" and everything would blow up when he used it (not him though, of course). No, I don't own PoT.

This Place™ however, has been copyrighted by me.

No, it hasn't.

**NOTE: THIS IS UNBETAED AND UNREVISED. I LITERALLY WROTE IT AND PUT IT UP. SO...SORRY IF I TOTALLY MESSED UP AND/OR SKIPPED WORDS.**

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Once upon a nice, happy time there was a nice, happy place called…This Place. This Place had a prince whose name was Ryoma. Well, they had a king and queen too and their names were Tezuka and Fuji. But they're not as important this time (gasp?!).

Ryoma was a young, talented and cocky boy. His arrogance was well known throughout the kingdom, and most people were very much irked by his behavior. They couldn't really do anything though, because he was the prince and he _was_ better than them at tennis.

Is factual bragging justified bragging? If it is true, is it still considered bragging?

Anyway.

Prince Ryoma was often seen wearing a particular white Fila cap. For this reason, the very creative and original inhabitants of This Place called him…Little Prince Cap. Ryoma didn't like it much, mainly because it didn't make any sense, sounded stupid, and was insulting because he was called little. Sort of like a certain Edward Elric, but you're not supposed to know about him in this story.

Now, it was rather unusual, but the castle dungeons were located a few miles away from the actual castle. Yes, it's unconventional, but it's more convenient for it to be that way so I can write this stinkin' story. So, it was kind of tough to communicate with the dungeon-master, Yukimura, but the king and queen didn't really care because it wasn't them doing the work anyway.

It was in this setting that, one day, finding her son sitting around doing virtually _nothing_, the queen decided to send him with a letter to Yukimura. He didn't want to, obviously, but they both knew that he'd have to go in the end. With her being the queen and his MOM and him being the prince and her son, Ryoma couldn't do much more than complain about it.

"Remember Ryoma," Queen Fuji chided him before he left, "don't pick up any teddy bears and don't talk to foxes named Momoshiro!"

"Got it," Ryoma grumbled.

And he set off in a carriage with a company of cavaliers and foot soldiers to serve as bodyguards (but they were more there just for the visual effects of parading around the kingdom).

***

During the first mile of the trip, Ryoma developed a habit of sticking his head out of the window-like opening in the front of the carriage and conversing with one of the horses. Its name was Steve. There was another horse named Bob plodding alongside Steve, but Ryoma wasn't very interested in him. Steve was a much better name than Bob.

He carried on one-sided conversations with Steve, occasionally receiving a grunt or a low whinny. When that happened, he'd just get even more enthusiastic and talk even more and faster about his topic. Which was, more often than not, tennis.

"And there was this _guy_, he shouldn't even have ever touched a racquet in the first place. I beat him 6-0, 6-0, of course. Oh, but I feel like my backhand volley is a little off nowadays, I'll have to keep working at that…" (This guy is only talkative when tennis is the subject)

Suddenly the carriage stopped. Ryoma felt this, and demanded to know why they weren't moving anymore. He slammed his palms on his cushioned seat.

"Why did we stop?!"

Joe, the head of the soldiers assigned to him, bowed and reported, "Your highness, there is a stuffed bear in the middle of the road."

Ryoma thought for a moment. He recalled the queen saying something about teddy bears. Were they a good thing? "Bring it to me!" he commanded.

So Joe walked from the carriage to the front of the procession, but before Ryoma saw him again he heard a huge BOOM and everything was blown back a few feet. He poked his head out of the window to see Joe…well, the bloody carcass that was Joe. Standing above him was a huge, twisted, disgusting-looking teddy bear.

The teddy bear proceeded to massacre all of Ryoma's "bodyguards" until even the carriage was destroyed. It seemed not to notice Ryoma, though (too short), and then there was a poof and it reverted back to a stuffed animal on the side of the road.

Soon (after about five minutes) the scene and situation registered in the prince's head, and, panicking, he ran over to a brown lump (careful to avoid the teddy bear).

"STEVE!!!" he wailed and cried bitterly for a whopping total of thirty seconds. Then he got over it and continued along the road…by foot. Somehow, the letter he carried remained unharmed and even unwrinkled through all of this.

***

Now that Steve was dead, Ryoma had no one to talk to. _Well, this is depressing_, he thought. And to him it was.

"…"

Um, Ryoma. Line.

"I forgot."

Oh. Well. Let's skip to the interesting parts then.

Don't worry, all you missed was Ryoma walking and…being Ryoma.

So soon Ryoma came across a fork in the road. It was only then that he realized: he doesn't know the way to the dungeons. Despair overcame his poor soul and he sat down, right there, and moped. He didn't get over it in 30 seconds this time though.

So engulfed was he in his own self-pity that he didn't notice a looming animal coming towards him until it was leaning over him. He jerked his head up and glared.

"Who are you?" he snapped.

The animal (who, by the way, was a fox) gave him a toothy grin and introduced himself amiably, "Hey, I'd be Momoshiro the fox! Nice to meet you!"

That rang a bell in Ryoma's head for some reason. Therefore, there is now a need to have Flashbacks.

_Flashback_

"_Ryoma!"_

"_Yessss…mother?" Ryoma drawled._

"_Stop feeding Karupin those high-quality éclairs we shipped from Belgium! They're expensive, you know!"_

_End Flashback_

That isn't it, Ryoma thought.

_Other Flashback_

"_Remember Ryoma, don't pick up any teddy bears and don't talk to foxes named Momoshiro!"_

"_Got it."_

_End other Flashback_

No, that's not it either…oh well! Must not have been anything important.

So he answered, less enthusiastically, "I'm Prince Ryoma."

_Last Flashback I promise_

"_Ryoma, what did I tell you about going off alone with no guards and telling your identity to strangers?"_

"_Um…don't do it?"_

_End of this random Flashback_

Drat.

Eh, what's done is done. Momoshiro, who also insisted on being called Momo, seemed friendly enough.

"So, why're you being all down and gloomy?" Momo inquired.

Ryoma pondered. Should he tell this guy, or should he not? …Oh, whatever, he'd already told him his name anyway. "I'm supposed to give some letter or something to Yukimura, but my guards were all killed by a rabid stuffed teddy bear and now I don't know the way to the dungeons."

Once said, he realized how crazy he must sound.

"Ah, the dungeons?" Momo exclaimed happily. "I pass by them every day on my morning walk! Here, I'll take you."

And so Ryoma made a new friend and found a way to get to the dungeons all at once.

***

There wasn't anything particularly interesting about the rest of the trip, other than them being confronted by a lion, Momo scrambling up a tree and falling out of it, the lion leaving and shaking its head, and Ryoma…being Ryoma. He and Momo made fast friends, if you count out the numerous times Ryoma felt a nearly overpowering urge to give Momo a good whack on the head to make him stop talking.

But other than that, they were tight. Like _this_.

Oh, sorry, I forgot you can't actually see me.

Anyhow, Momo took Ryoma down the left path, which led them through forests, a really deep valley that Ryoma had quite some trouble getting across, and, ultimately, to the dungeons.

Now, the word dungeons does sound scary and dark and all, but much like the Forest of Doom that was mention earlier, it wasn't really so scary and dark. In fact, the exterior design and color theme was very similar to the castle itself.

Momo watched as his new friend walked to the large wooden doors and then retreated to a clump of trees nearby. He'd wait for him in the lobby; Ryoma would probably need a guide _back_ as well. Once hidden the fox shifted into his human shape, a tall, muscular with spiky hair and violet eyes.

Yes, he had a human shape this whole time.

***

Ryoma, on the other hand, was currently facing quite a dilemma. You see, he was trying to find Yukimura, but there was this tiny little detail that everyone else overlooked: he has never met Yukimura and therefore doesn't know what he looks like. From what Ryoma had heard, however, he was young, good-looking, and had purple-ish eyes. That's a start, right?

So he wandered around, somehow avoiding all life forms that could have potentially aided him, or yelled at him, and finally meandered back to the lobby. There was a person there who hadn't been there before.

Upon closer scrutiny… Hey, this guy has purple eyes! BINGO!

Happily, Ryoma fished out the letter from his bag and handed it to him. The other guy accepted it, but looked rather baffled.

"Yukimura, what big muscles you have!" Ryoma commented suddenly and uncharacteristically.

"Huh? Oh, thanks. Wait, I'm not—"

He reached up and tugged at the taller boy's hair. "And what spiky hair you have!"

"Uh… Yeah, it's natural…"

"My, Yukimura—"

"IMPOSTER!!!" a third voice yelled. It was Sanada, Yukimura's (the real one) right-hand man, who stood a few corridors away. He couldn't hear them talking, but he knew that the other guy had taken a letter addressed to his precious Yukimura because his eyesight was _just that good_.

Ryoma blinked, and then Momo was being chained and dragged away with a totally innocent and bewildered expression on his face.

"Ah, well." And he turned on his heel and walked out of the dungeons.

***

_Meanwhile, back at the castle…_

The Queen Fuji, who made a living as a white witch before she married the king, glared at her son through a well of water. Although, she was slightly amused too.

"I told you not to talk to him. But did you listen? Of course not. You have such a bad memory too. And you never remember what I tell you! Did it ever occur to you that this stuff might be of slight importance? I wouldn't have bothered telling you if it weren't. And look! Now Momo's locked up in a dark and dreary cell. _All because of you._"

Behind her, King Tezuka was trying (only semi-successfully) to keep from rolling his eyes. "Please don't become a Shinji."

And he wondered why he ever married Fuji in the first place.

***

"That was Momo?" Ryoma spoke out loud. "Well…I guess it kind of is my fault that he's locked up and starving now. Maybe I should go and do something about it since I'm the protagonist and protagonists are supposed to save people…"

Like mother like son?

_Fuji back at the castle: "You can hear me?"_

"Yeah…isn't that kinda funny in that weird, twisted way?"

Ryoma may have inherited too many of his mother's traits for his own good.

He continued to talk to himself. "I should seek the counsel of someone wise. Because that's what the heroes always do." And so he went off to find his uncle, the wise Atobe.

That's right, Atobe is Fuji's brother.

Can you imagine that???

…

Atobe's residence, a huge, magnificent architectural masterpiece to rival the castle itself, reflected the persona of the owner rather perfectly. Or so Ryoma and a considerable amount of This Place's inhabitants thought.

Either way, Atobe was also well known for his sage and immense knowledge. That is why, whenever someone had a big problem, their first thought was to bring to the Great Atobe. It's also why we now find Ryoma at the [massive] door of said "wise" man's house.

Ryoma found himself welcomed in grand style, like always. Actually, he wouldn't have been surprised if Atobe was also related to The Great Tiger, Teresa, of Fantasy Land that he'd read about in a book. That's beside the point, though.

"Why, Ore-sama has the most perfect plan!" the narcissist exclaimed once Ryoma told him of his need to free his friend.

Atobe swept out of the room to return a few seconds later with a round, black spherical thing in his hand. He whipped out a lighter, which had not yet been invented but is still owned by Atobe because he's just that's special, and lit the wick sticking out of it.

"What's—" It suddenly dawned on Ryoma. "What the heck are you doing with a _bomb_?!"

Before he could stop him, Atobe threw the sizzling ball of doom out the window and after a few intense seconds…

The bomb exploded melodramatically, causing rumbling and chaos to everything in a 100 mile radius. Glass shattered, then buildings fell down, and then the trees jumped up from the ground, screaming "Bloody murder!!!" Then all the bunnies and birds couldn't take it anymore and all had heart attacks and died. Right there. And then—

BOOM!

Right before Ryoma's eyes, This Place exploded and was gone. Zit. Nilch. OFF the face of the earth.

Were they on Earth in the first place? Oh well, it doesn't matter anymore.

"…What. Did you just do."

"Ah, Ore-sama has freed your friend, just like you asked."

Ryoma stared, wide-eyed, at the scene of his whole country, in space suits, floating around in outer space before him.

"I didn't mean _this_ free!"

"YUKIMURAAAA?!!!"

"Over here, Genichirou!"

He was really starting to regret asking his uncle for help…

"Saa, Tezuka, this is pretty interesting isn't it?"

"…"

"Hey, Ryoma! Thanks man, you saved me!"

Someone save _me_! Ryoma thought desperately. I don't care who, just _please_…

THE END.

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Next will be the continuation of Clone Wars Revamped!

**R & R please? Thank you!**


	5. The Clone Wars Revamped! Part 2

**The Clone Wars Revamped! Part 2  
**_By Sileny_

**Summary: **That's right! This part was written by Sileny (not me), who came up with the idea with me. Rikkai Dai deals with Yukimura, Sanada wishes he could leave Ditto somewhere and let it just DIE, and Seigaku…well, Seigaku was just Seigaku.

**Warnings:** Nothing that you haven't seen already. :)

**Disclaimer: **Oh, if I owned Prince of Tennis, they would definitely all have superpowers. Or Pokémon, you choose.

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Flygon was annoyed.

In fact, Flygon was very annoyed.

On closer examination, Flygon could state that this was exactly the 376th time that she was this annoyed. And each and every time Flygon could directly link the source of her annoyance with one person: Yukimura Seichi, otherwise known as the Leader of Team Rikkai and her very own Trainer.

"FLYGON!!! Look at all the pretty flowers!!!"

And Flygon wished (oh, how she wished!) that she was the Pokémon of any other Trainer as long as that trainer _wasn't Yukimura_. Heck, she would even gladly put up with Sanada, what with his annoying frowns and angry mood shifts. Anything to get her a bit of peace and quiet and…

"Oh, there are more pretty flowers over there!" Yukimura said cheerfully, and then, genius that he was, decided to make his way over to said flowers that were situated on the edge of a cliff overlooking a river. Sighing, Flygon laid herself out on the ground under the presumption that as utterly STUPID and INSANE her Trainer could get, he wouldn't be stupid enough to get too close, now, would he? The bush wasn't THAT close to the edge in the first place, for goodness sakes…

A slightly demonic shriek pierced through her thoughts and the Dragon was up in a flash, making a beeline for the waving hands of Yukimura. She stood corrected; he _was_ stupid enough to get too close. Or perhaps he had tripped over the five empty containers that had once held ice cream. "You owe me one," she growled, having successfully retrieved him on her back from a steep dive and then pumping her wings to get herself some altitude. "Shall I add it to your list?"

A bouquet of dainty wildflowers was thrust in her face and she nearly did a loop-de-loop, which would have sent both of them crashing into the river. Yukimura smiled cheerily at his main Pokémon from behind the flowers. "Flowers make everything better!"

And Flygon dearly wished that one of these days, Yukimura would get the lovely idea of trading her away to some other Trainer, one preferably saner than he was.

***

Seigaku was holding a meeting. Or, more correctly stating, Tezuka was having a meeting, and everyone else was fooling around. Tezuka sat with his Bonsly, Marilyn, trying very, very, hard to keep on a straight face as Kaido and Momo tussled rather loudly in front of him. Their antics were accompanied by the very-frequent zap of electricity and sphere of water. Poor Taka tried in vain to calm them down, in the end getting dowsed with water by one annoyed Vaporeon (which was Momo) and then subsequently zapped by lightning (courtesy of Kaido). This was enough to arouse Taka's own fighting spirit, for the Flareon let loose an impressively hot Flamethrower, which, while not doing a lot of damage to the bickering rivals themselves, served their purpose greatly in burning several whiskers and a few patches of fur on each of them.

Tezuka's head was starting to hurt, and the Umbreon pulled his long ears back against his head. A sizeable tick-mark was appearing on his forehead, and as general disorder continued, it just got bigger and bigger. Finally, when he couldn't take it anymore, he leapt up, letting out a dangerous-sounding roar.

He got silence instantly. The rest of Seigaku cowered before the ticked-off Umbreon. "Right," he grunted, standing up so that he stood his full height. "We are going to begin our special training right now. Inui, come over here and show everyone your newest creations."

The rest of Seigaku cowered further when the Leafeon made his grand entrance: by stepping out of a bush. Yes, that was Inui's oh-so-creative grand entrance. His thick-rimmed black glasses glinted dangerously as he grinned.

Stepping forward, he produced a pitcher of some dangerously bubbling concoction from behind the lead on his head. "In today's battle practice, if anyone loses, they will have to drink this," was all he said.

Tezuka watched the members of Seigaku begin their silent panic attacks. "Oishi!" he barked out. The motherly Pikachu looked up at the powerful Umbreon with something akin to terror in his kind eyes. "You and Eiji will pair up against Taka and Echizen."

The energetic Pichu known as Eiji bounced over to his battling partner, squeaking out his excitement. Taka stared at his assigned partner, the Glaceon known as Echizen. "Uh… Tezuka… you _do_ know that Echizen isn't the type of Pokémon to work in a pair, don't you?" the Flareon asked tentatively.

Tezuka's own glasses glinted dangerously. "Did you say something?" he asked, taking a step forward.

Taka squeaked himself. "Nothing! We'll go now!" And then Ryoma found himself being dragged by the ears by a panicking Flareon, and no amount of yowling could get him out of his elder's iron grip.

_Why me?_ the young Glaceon asked himself, his body dragging uncomfortably along the ground. _What have I done to deserve this?_

***

_What have I done to deserve this?_

Sanada was _not _a happy camper at this exact moment. In fact, he was almost never a happy camper, because, well…

…wait a second; he wasn't camping in the first place…

But that's beside the point! Anyways, the point _is_ that Sanada was not a happy person because his Ditto was sitting on his shoulder, happily amusing itself by imitating Yukimura's voice and chattering about any random thing that entered its little Ditto brain as they came in.

_What have I ever done to be punished by such an overly happy Ditto?_ he wailed to himself. He had half a mind to force said Ditto into her Pokéball, but the last time he had tried that (heck, the last time he had been stupid enough to even _touch_ Ditto's Pokéball), he had found himself at the receiving end of a barrage of tennis balls.

Of course, that wouldn't have been so bad had Ditto not imitated him. On that day, he had made a startling new revelation: he was _good_ at tennis.

And he had never really known it.

"Akaya's back," Yagyuu noted. Team Rikkai watched as their Junior Ace blundered towards them. He was waving his hands wildly in awkward circles. Yagyuu pushed his glasses to a more firmer position on his nose, and stated, "Akaya says that Yukimura is not at the ice cream store."

And since when could Yagyuu read the language of flailing arms?

"Yukimura-buchou is not at the ice cream store!" Akaya piped up cheerfully.

Further proof that Yagyuu was skillful in the language of flailing arms. The rest of his team clapped in awe.

_What a second… why am __**I**__ clapping?_ Sanada blinked, his hands pausing in mid-clapping motion. His Ditto giggled on his shoulder, clapping as well. A sizable tick mark made its way to Sanada's forehead, and he could feel a vein beginning to pop. "Let's get going!" he roared. "Who has a flying Pokémon?" he barked out, and the rest of his team shrunk back until they were about the size of ants. "Akaya, send out your Dragonair!"

"Y-y-y-y-yes, sir!" There was a click of a Pokéball and then a beautiful Dragonair popped out. "Dragonair, you're just as pretty as always!" Kirihara squealed, launching himself onto his Pokémon and hugging it. Suddenly, he stopped, looking like he had just eaten something rotten. "Um… we'll get to work, now," he squeaked. "Dragonair, find Yukimura-buchou!"

Sanada nodded in a professional manner before releasing his Charizard. "Find Yukimura," he ordered, and the red dragon lifted off.

Now… if only he could get Ditto to go with Charizard… and never come back…

***

Fuji stretched his lithe body and yawned, blinking happily as he finished his daily routine of waking up (having been dozing off after he had finished his training. It was difficult, trying to decide whether to win and watch someone else suffer from the juice or losing and enjoying the taste of the juice himself). Fully awake now, the Espeon glanced around, finding an Oran berry that would serve as his breakfast. It was plump and juicy… just the way he liked it, although perhaps some of Inui's newest juice would be nice too…

It was a pity, then, that the Psychic Pokémon did not know where said Leafeon spent his nights. Otherwise, Fuji would raid his nest and steal some juice right that instant.

But since he couldn't do that because he didn't know where Inui lodged himself, the Oran berry that Fuji currently had in his possession would have to suffice. Sitting down, he opened his mouth, poising himself over the innocent little berry so that he could sink his sharp little teeth into the fruit, but he was stopped in mid action by angry shouting.

Flicking his large ears in annoyance, he straightened up and marched over to the source of the noise.

_Why am I not surprised that it's Momo and Kaidoh?_ He cocked his head to the side as he watched the Vaporeon and Jolteon snap at each other, before both launched themselves at the other and vanished into a cloud of pink dust.

Of _all _colors… it just _had_ to be pink…

A noise made the Espeon look up, and when he did so, he saw a Dragonair soar over the trees. It seemed to be looking for something. An idea for fun popped into the mischievous Pokémon's head, and he opened his mouth to voice it to the world.

One can imagine Fuji's horror when all that came out of his mouth was: "SPEE!!!"

On a side note, it did manage to stop Momo and Kaidoh from fighting though… the two younger evolutions stared in open-mouthed shock as their Fuji-sempai jumped around, furiously trying to speak but each and every time only producing a single "SPEE!!!"

"Is Fuji-sempai OK?"

"Fshuuuuu…"

***

Team Rikkai was finally on the move. They sprinted after the two flying dragons, with Sanada's Ditto bouncing up and down energetically on Sanada's shoulder.

To say the least, it was getting annoying.

_And_ Sanada's shoulder was starting to hurt.

_And_ it started to rain.

"Ditto, make yourself useful and transform into an umbrella, will you?" Sanada grumbled under his breath. His purple blob of doom just looked at him like he had sprouted an extra head. _What's the point of having a Ditto if it can't even transform into an umbrella?_ Sanada thought miserably as he ran on desolately through the rain.

Laughing came from above their heads and they all looked up to see a very unhappy Flygon soaring through the dark sky. It was Yukimura, who had finally dislodged himself from his flowers on the side of a cliff and had decided to go back to his team. Hooray.

"What's everyone running for?" he asked amiably, not seeming to catch the glares being thrown his way from his soaking wet teammates. "Is something interesting going on? I want to go, I want to go!"

Sanada sighed, drooping. "Why… oh, why…" he moaned, looking very sorry, with the water dripping off of the brim of his hat.

Flygon landed and Yukimura hopped off, still looking cheerful. "What's wrong?" he asked innocently.

"Nothing, Yukimura. Nothing at all."

"Oh… if you say so!"

***

And off in a bush, sheltered by the pouring rain by the thick branches, the members of Seigaku crouched and watched the Rikkai team go about their antics. "Weren't they on a mission to catch and clone us?" Ryoma asked his sempais, flicking his long, triangular tail that was prized among his species. He glared at the rain. "I hate rain. It should totally snow more often," he grumbled, sulking.

Momo glared at his junior. "Just because you're a Glaceon…" he grumbled, a little red tick mark appearing on his forehead. "Rain is also good."

"Baka peach," Kaidoh hissed, lacing back his long ears. He hated rain… it made him all static-y and as a result Tezuka punished him more often with laps when he accidently zapped everyone. "Rain is terrible." Momo's tick mark grew bigger.

"WHAT DID YOU SAY, MAMUSHI?!?!?!"

"YOU WANT TO FIGHT?!?!?!"

"Everyone, please be quiet!" Taka tried to reason. The Flareon had hunkered down as close to the ground as possible and looked utterly miserable.

"Taka-san, maybe you should have stayed home…" Oishi offered, noting the fire Pokémon's unhappiness. His own cheeks were sparkling, and he made sure to cover Eiji's head with his broad tail to ward off any drops of water that dropped from the bush's leaves.

"Ne, Tezuka… they're very incompetent, aren't they, those humans…?" Fuji asked sweetly, his forked tail flicking back and forth.

The Umbreon besides him shifted his weight from paw to paw. "That's humans for you," he grunted, giving a firm shake of his head.

"If you say so, Te-zu-ka!" Tezuka twitched at his twin's cheerful attitude.

A scream from the Rikkai team was heard as some problem or another occurred. All assembled Pokémon sweatdropped in embarrassment for them.

"Let's… go now…" Tezuka offered, and backed out of the bush. "We shall go home and pretend that those stupid humans never came into our forest, bringing scissors with them." His red eyes gleamed dangerously.

"Ah… yes… let's just… go home…" Oishi said nervously, ushering Eiji in front of him as he watched his captain warily. "That's a good idea, right, everyone?" he asked, turning to the rest.

"HAI!!!" they chorused happily.

And so the Seigaku team lived happily ever after, and poor Team Rikkai never did succeed in their quest to catch and clone them. Instead, they decided to all visit psychologists to help them fully understand their problems.

It was not a surprise that the psychologist begged them never to come back again after the first visit…

**~*~OWARI~*~**

A/N: I tried. I tried. XP

Fimby: Yay Sileny!!! You rock you rock you rock!!! I do wonder whatever happened to Fuji and his "spee" though…XD

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Aaaaand…Now I (me) will go back to writing (does that make sense or am I just rambling now?). I think TWILIGHT shall be next. :) You know, the one by Stephanie Meyer. No worries, I shall be butchering it. Starring… Vampire Tezuka. Unless any of you have other ideas? =D


	6. I'm King of the World!

**I'm King of the World!**

_By FimbulvetrIce_

**Summary: **It takes utter boredom and a socially awkward stalker to make Ryoma wish he had never set foot on the damn cruise ship. Which also happened to be a Disney cruise ship. A _Titanic_ parody.

**Warning(s): **Momo is rather OOC in this; Sakuno extremely so. And, it's a kind-of-one-sided-MomoRyo. …I don't know, it's complicated. Also writing Sakuno for the first time ever. And this may or may not have been adapted from an English assignment again.

**Disclaimer: **I don't own Prince of Tennis…I OWN YOUR SOOOUUUUL.

**Other crap: **Very very sorry for leaving this fic hanging…for like two years. DX I don't really have any excuses, other than that I've gotten into twenty other fandoms and stuff and just never got around to writing another parody for this fic. But at least it's a plotless fic? I hope I didn't lose all of my readers over this ridiculous time span.

And I know, I featured Momo and Ryoma in one of these already…and I spent a good three weeks debating on which pair I should use for this. But in the end it fits MomoRyo the most, so I caved anyway. Also, as you've probably gathered already, this isn't Twilight like I suggested previously, but it's just so overdone and I didn't want to be redundant.

I think that's it. Sorry for the globs of text above. Enjoy?

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To be perfectly honest, Ryoma wasn't sure what he was even doing here. For heaven's sake, it was a _Disney cruise_; complete with all of the sparkles and grandiosity such billion-dollar franchises had to offer. Most of the guests were grade schoolers. Middle schoolers at the most. And here he was, freshly out of college, looped (guilt-tripped) into some "family bonding time" by his parents.

Said parents were currently on the deck somewhere, having their own bonding time.

So that left him sitting in the café of the ship, where he hadn't left since lunch had ended, drinking coffee but not really drinking coffee. The once steaming-hot mug had long been bereft of heat from sitting, untouched, on the table. But at least it made him _look _like he was doing something productive. A young waitress with mile-long pigtails and bearing a nametag that read "Hello, my name is Sakuno", dropped by from time to time to remind him that if he wanted anything more, he was free to ask.

And then there was _him_. There was a man sitting across from Ryoma; one whom he had never met before in his life. The stranger looked about his age, though much taller, with spiky black hair and a forlorn expression on his face. He had been staring right at Ryoma for around half an hour now. Namely, at his hands.

"Do you need something?" _My face is up here, freak._

"You have the most beautiful hands I have ever seen," the man deadpanned. "Please allow me to draw them."

Okay, so, even more socially awkward than he had first thought. "Um, no."

The man's expression didn't change at his rejection. "Uh, my name is Momoshiro Takeshi. But you should call me Momo."

"Sure."

"What's yours?"

"…Ryoma."

"Ryoma, I think I have just fallen in love with you."

Oh, _heck_ no.

...

It had been two days since he'd been introduced to Momo, and the stalker-man still wouldn't leave him alone. It seemed as if, in every room he went into and every hallway he walked down, his stalker was there. In fact, he was practically gluing himself to Ryoma right now as the latter speed-walked to his destination. "Look, do you really have to follow me like this?"

Momo trailed closely behind him, every step matching his own. He also completely ignored the inquiry just made. "There's a dance tonight."

"Yes, yes, I know." Ryoma tried to lose him by walking even faster, but of course to no avail.

"You'll be going, right?"

_Not if you'll be there_. "My parents will probably make me." Yes, where were his parents when he needed them to provide a distraction and an excuse to leave this man?

"Great. That's great." _No, it's really not._

"So who's your favorite Disney character?"

Has this guy heard of pleasant lulls in conversations? "Why do you ask?"

"We're kind of on a Disney Cruise."

Yes, yes they were. "I guess… Mulan?"

"Oh. I see. Well, see you later. I love you."

Ryoma didn't deem that remark worthy of a proper answer.

Later that day, Momo walked up to him and shoved a necklace into his hand, saying that it was a friendship necklace and insisting that he wear it. He was going to refuse (really, what guy wears friendship necklaces with a guy they just met?) but it did have Mulan on it and he was incredibly fond of Mulan…

...

The dance wasn't all it was advertised as. Don't get him wrong, the kids probably loved it, but Ryoma typically would have considered college students to be included under the umbrella of "dreamers of all ages", and the flyers had promised a night of "all of your most beautiful fantasies" to such a group. Needless to say, he wanted his money back, even if his parents had been the ones to pay for the trip…but that was much beside the point.

He gave the waitress a polite half-smile as she set down a plate of salad in front him. A nametag that announced that she was called Sakuno adorned her uniform, so she was most likely the same waitress from yesterday…not that Ryoma paid any attention, really.

"Hello, Ryoma."

The person that plopped down next to him didn't even come as a surprise anymore.

"Momo."

"I bought you some flowers," Momo informed him, holding them out with a gesture much too awkwardly rehearsed to be natural.

"I hope they're sea-flowers, or else Disney is ridiculous for bringing tulips aboard a ship." Ryoma took them anyway, only to set them directly on the table in front of him.

"They're roses, actually."

Like he couldn't see that or anything. "That was sarcasm."

"Oh." It didn't seem like he was well-acquainted with the term. "So, do you want to have a dance after you eat?"

"No," Ryoma said quickly.

"Why? It's a dance party."

"It is very much a dance party, which is precisely why I will not participate."

Momo looked at him questioningly. "You don't dance?"

"No," he said with a clipped voice.

Momo waited for Ryoma to elaborate. When he didn't, he took the hint—astounding, right?—and waved the waitress over to order. Sakuno walked over daintily.

"What would you like, sir? And does the salad suit your tastes, mister with the cap?"

Ryoma gave an affirmative while Momo remained silent, leveling Sakuno with a hard stare. The waitress shifted, visibly uncomfortable. "Um…hi?"

"You're the waitress from yesterday," Momo stated.

"I…I think so?"

"Are you stalking Ryoma?" he said, looking at Sakuno heatedly.

_You're accusing _her_ of being a stalker?_

Sakuno dropped the timid waitress act, weirded out. "Dude, this section of the ship has like ten waiters. I serve a lot of people."

Momo was still glaring at her.

"A _lot_ of people."

Stalker number one didn't move a muscle.

"Look, if you're not going to order anything, the table over there is calling me over."

Momo's accusing eyes never left the waitress as she waltzed away.

"…Dude."

To Ryoma's surprise, he suddenly whipped around and grinned at him like nothing had happened. "So, can I draw you?"

"What? No, haven't we gone over this already?"

"Please?"

"But you're beautiful."

"And you're a creeper."

"I really want to draw you with that necklace."

He wibbled his bottom lip at him. Curses. He'd always had a weakness for that (but tell anyone and will personally hunt you down and drive tennis balls at you). "Fine. You can draw me. Wearing this."

Ryoma paused, as Momo held his breath in anticipation.

"Wearing this…and that new polo I bought the other day. With my favorite cap. And my blue jeans. And my Prince brand tennis shoes."

Why did Momo look so disappointed?

...

The portrait session itself, regardless of how hard Momo had pushed for it, actually wasn't all that eventful. It took him all of half an hour to finish his sketch.

After that, Ryoma bolted.

...

Today would be the last day on this hellish, floating contraption of torture.

…Or, that is to say, he would never have to see Momoshiro Takeshi ever again once they landed. Was Ryoma excited?

Yes, yes he was.

The man stuck to him like a shadow, as the rest of his family was always conveniently absent. But then again, Momo wasn't really as insufferable as Ryoma liked to think of him in his mind. Other than standing far to close at all times and trying (and failing) to strike up menial conversations when Ryoma clearly did not want to talk, Momo'd never actually molested him or anything. By the world's standards, he could even be what they called a half-way decent person.

And he _wasn't_ growing on Ryoma, not in the least bit.

No, don't even go there. All of those heartfelt gifts and sincere gazes had absolutely _no _affect on him.

As it was, they had somehow ended up in the boiler rooms during one of their aimless walks with his hand clutched in Momo's. He would have pulled it away, really he would have, but it had happened before and knew it would be futile. He'd just take it again.

"Look, there's a car." Ryoma turned to look at where Momo was pointing. There really was a car, sitting innocuously a feet from them. Why was there an automobile randomly in the boiler rooms of a cruise ship, again?

"I see."

"It looks very isolated," Momo continued, very determinedly.

"Mhmm."

"I imagine it would be very much so if someone were to get inside of it."

"As do I."

"It seems like a very nice place for privacy. It would be a good place for—"

"Stop trying to get me to go inside the car and make out with you."

Ryoma recognized the "curses, foiled again" expression taking its place on Momo's face. Seriously though, what was he expecting? Either way, Momo quickly changed the subject.

"Isn't it time for lunch?"

Ryoma could have rolled his eyes. "I believe so."

...

And like for every meal they'd had on the ship so far, Sakuno had the ill fate of being their waitress. Normally Ryoma might have found this suspicious, but being around Momo all day had given him some semblance of immunity to stalker-ness.

The artist apparently had a personal vendetta against the girl, and, as always, found a way to take it out on her.

"Are you checking him out now?" he slammed his hands on the table when he caught sight of Sakuno looking at Ryoma, pen in hand.

"What—" the poor waitress sputtered, blinking furiously. "I'm not—I'm not checking him out! Get a grip!" Nevertheless, she kept glancing at the base of Ryoma's neck.

Oh. So it was that. "Do you like Mulan too?" he asked Sakuno.

The waitress shrugged sheepishly. "Yeah…"

He turned and glared at Momo. "See? It was just the necklace. Let the girl do her job."

Crossing his arms, Momo sank into his chair muttering something that was probably a threat to Sakuno. Once their orders were placed, he gazed at him, looking very somber. "Ryoma …" he said, sounding withdrawn for once.

He sighed. "What is it?"

"We will soon be separated…"

Oh no, they were _not_ having this conversation right now. Momo was going to ask for his number, or address, or both, and he couldn't have that. Because then he'd have to refuse him and he'd look all disappointed, and that would be…

That would be…

Luckily(?), an obnoxiously loud siren and sudden, violent turbulence interrupted his mental debate. Wait, seriously, what in the world? Even Momo looked alarmed, and he demonstrated it by standing up abruptly just as a voice boomed over the static in the speakers.

"_Greetings, passengers. Please do not be alarmed. We have accidently been moored onto a volcano—"_

"_I swear it's been dormant for years," _another, more panicked voice sounded in the background.

"—_yes, yes, and, unfortunately, our return will be delayed for about a day while we wait for another ship to come and take all of you back."_

Very much alarmed, every passenger on the ship immediately made a mad dash to the upper decks so that they could see their obvious plight.

"How in the world do you _accidentally_ crash a cruise ship from off the coast of Florida into a volcano?" Ryoma screamed at no one in particular. This couldn't be happening. This had to be some sick some joke.

Momo, on the other hand, wasn't nearly as startled as he had been before the announcement. He leaned casually on the railing. "So, I guess we have another day together then."

Ryoma's eyes widened, finally understanding the gravity of the situation.

He was stranded. On an island. With Momo.

"You have _got_ to be _kidding_ me."

...

...

...

Ryoma jolted awake, in the midst screaming the ever-loving crap out of his lungs. Consequently, Nanjiro barged into his room, waving a tennis racquet at him.

"What do they teach you middle schoolers at Seigaku, how to deafen your parents ears and make sure they only get three hours of sleep?"

He shot up in bed, gasping for breath. "I had a nightmare…"

Nanjiro raised an eyebrow at him.

"There was this…this annoying tiger…and Fuji-sempai was a girl…! And then Akutsu went all King Kong on Tokyo, and Tezuka-sempai was yelling at us and…" he paused to draw a long breath, "then we were all these weird animals, and STEVE DIED, and Momo… … …Momo-sempai…" He shuddered. "…Momo…sempai… … …the heck…?"

"Ah, son," Nanjiro sigh reassuringly as he clasped a hand on his son's shoulder with more force than necessary. "You're just becoming a man!"

Ryoma stared at him. His father gave an emotional sniffle.

Just then, the doorbell rang. Nanjiro gave his shoulder a few final pats and opened the door, only to reveal a Momoshiro waving at him.

"Hey, kiddo, I just got these awesome free tickets for a cruise—"

Ryoma stalked over with a purpose and slammed the door in his friend's face. Respect for your elders be damned.

* * *

**AND THEY ALL LIVED HAPPILY EVER AFTER THE END.**

**I'M DONE!**


End file.
